


Under The Table

by BetaRayBob



Category: DCU (Comics), Justice League
Genre: Gen, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:49:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3342578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BetaRayBob/pseuds/BetaRayBob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Big Barda proposes a simple game: Who Can Drink The Most?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under The Table

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bigbardafree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigbardafree/gifts).



It started as a friendly competition, but the bodies of her comrades strewn around the room said differently. Big Barda sat at the large roundtable in the Watchtower, her face in her hands, sweat running down her nose and falling in drops on the tabletop. Her labored breathing finally mellowed out and she took one more deep breath and let it out before sitting back in her chair. Her face red, a look of pure joy on her face. She had never felt better.

Barda reached out and grabbed the mug sitting perilously close to the edge of the table and raised it to her lips, snarling when she realized it was empty. She threw it to the floor and let out a yell. Something on the floor moved and where the mug was, now a hand gripped the edge. Then a second hand. And finally a head as a red blur slumped onto the table.

“I…I didn’t think I could get drunk. But you—hrrk—you really pushed me off the edge, Big B”, Wally West slurred out before he gave her a sloppy grin and she returned it. She held her hand out and helped him into a standing position, his knees knocking against the table.

“Ah, Wallace. Good to see you recovered so quickly. Care for another round? It seems you are the only one left”, she motioned to the room around her, the entirety of the Justice League, multiple iterations, all sprawled out on the floor or against the wall. “Our comrades seem to be lightweights”, she threw her head back and cackled loudly, echoing off the high ceiling of the Watchtower.

Wally managed to secure himself a seat, his hood falling off his shoulders, his shaggy red hair sticking to his forehead from sweat. Barda raised a brow as she noticed Wally shaking in his seat, his vibrations getting more intense with each passing second. “Are you alright, Wallace? You don’t seem well.” Wally raised a hand and waved it off.

“I’m just sobering up, B. Usually alcohol doesn’t affectmebutthat’sjust…youknowanormalnightoutIdon’ttendtopoundback100-plusshotsofhigh-proofApokoliptianbooze.” His voice was clearer now, whatever he was doing was working. Barda nodded, pretending to understand him, apparently Wally not realizing he has become incomprehensible from going much too fast. She didn’t want to admit it, but just watching Flash fight made her feel dizzy. Only Scott knew this fact, and if he knew what were good for him, he would never tell a soul.

The sound of faint buzzing faded as Wally came back into existence, leaving the Watchtower far too quiet. The only sound that permeated the halls was the faint snoring of those who fell quickly. As much as Batman wanted to brag, he couldn’t handle what Barda brought and he was the first one out. Guy Gardner was ecstatic and proceeded to draw some very phallic imagery on Bruce’s face.

Mari McCabe, Vixen, was surprisingly one of the last people to go down. Booster Gold and Ted Kord, they were a lost cause. They didn’t last long, Barda had to assume. They had stolen a bottle of her Apokoliptian best and had wandered off to Darkseid knows where. Superman went down quickly, much to the entire League’s surprise. Guess Smallville didn’t get out much and his Kryptonian body couldn’t handle it. Arthur Curry didn’t partake in their little game, Barda wasn’t sure why, perhaps some Atlantean custom. He had so many, she cared not.

Barda chuckled to herself, humankind really can’t handle anything. It had all started as a friendly competition, a celebration on her recent victory over the Furies and Granny Goodness. She had infiltrated a party in Darkseid’s honor, a difficult feat because her face was plastered all over Apokolips on wanted posters. She had grabbed one off the wall when she made landfall and pursed her lips when she noticed her bounty had actually gotten LOWER. What nonsense, she had thought before crumpling it up and throwing it into the streets.

Her plan was simple, infiltrate the party, identify the Furies and get out with the important intelligence. Of course, Barda didn’t do things simple and a kerfuffle ensued.  Barda managed to take down the Furies, stop Granny and even snag something from Darkseid’s personal stash. Who knew the dark Overlord had such good taste in alcoholic beverages. Once she had completed her mission, in ways only she could, she took a Boomtube to the Watchtower and immediately began the celebration. She sent transmissions to everyone she could, and they answered.

The party began out tame enough, conversations started, laughing and enjoyment until Barda proposed a little contest: Who Can Drink The Most? Many would attempt, but only one would survive. Slowly but surely, as shot after shot was poured and tossed back, her competitors fell. Wally West was the last one at the table, the one who bragged about not being affected by alcohol, but even he succumbed. Now he sat next to her, completely sober while she felt the beginnings of a headache. She put her hands to her temple and Wally moved in close to her, she could feel his breath on her ear.

“HA! I WIN”, he yelled as loudly as he could and fell back into his chair, clutching his stomach as he laughed. Barda ground her teeth together. This was her punishment. She could defeat anyone in the universe, whole worlds fell to her, but she would always remember that she was bested in a drinking contest by Wallace fucking West.


End file.
